Singh is King

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America
.

 A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?"

 Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh".
 

 Another guy came and asked the him the same
question.
 Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.

   
He went up to him and asked, "Are you
Relaxing?"
  
 The other Singh was a
lot more educated and answered,"Yes, I am relaxing."

 The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid,
idiot.
 Everyone is looking for you and your are
sitting over here!"
   
   
 ************ ********* *******


A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly Saint Peter
told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances
in  education on earth. In order to gain admittance a
prospective heavenly soul,
he must answer two questions:

1.Name two days of the week that begin
with "T".

2.How many seconds are in a year?
   The
Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two
days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and 
Tomorrow.

2. There
are 12 seconds in a year.
 Saint Peter said, "OK,
I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer,
even  though it's not the answer I expected. But how did
you get 12  seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied,
"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc..."

 Saint Peter lets him in without another word.


   
 ************ ********* ********
(3) Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all
around his living room.
    Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
    Santa : "Hidden cameras!"
    Jasmeet : "And what makes you
think that there are hidden cameras here?"
   
Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why
every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star
World Channel'. How does he know that?"
   
 
 
 ************ ********* ********

(4) Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God.
  A passerby saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

 The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to
it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I
would have been missing too."


            
************ ********* *********


(5) Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a
fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out
of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away
as well. His shirt,pant,socks and watch follow suit.


The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going
on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions here"! It
says here "Answer the following questions in brief".

     
************ ********* *********

(6) Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic.One of them was crying like
hell. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one
said,"I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are
you afraid "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one
started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the
other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
 
   
************ ********* *********


(7) A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager
comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?"
To this the man replies,

    "Oye, see the board here ---" Wash Basin ".