funny sms jokes

TEACHER: If u call ur mother as MUM,
Then what will u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sis?
Sardar:so simple, I will call them MINIMUM and MAXIMUM

I want u...
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner....
and to say say those sweet three words to U....
"Pay The Bill"

Maths teacher: to a dull boy,
if u have 12 chocolate and u give 5 to leena,
3 to tina, 4 to meena,
then what will You get?
Student: 3 Girl friends....!

Q: How do u keep ur husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Remove your Shirt,
Remove your Pants too,
ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti now ahhh....
Thanks God, Finally the suitcase is closed.

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I dont see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!


Why'd the couple stop after 3 children?
Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

Train stationil nirthi. Oral sardarinod: ithu ethu stationaa? Sardar alochichu , adutha station aayitum theernilla. Last paranju; ’ RAILWAY STATION’


Sorry 2 disturb u If r Not busy
if u r not working
if u r not tired if u r not lazy
plese answer me
AYYAPPANTE AMMA
ETRA
NEYYAPPAM CHUTTU?..


Unnikuttan has never seen his Chandi. 1day his teacher beat on his Chandi, he went home looked in d mirror and said-"nayintemol adichu randu kashnam akkikalanju"

I love u da! Ninne
Kanathe jevikan
vayya!Ninte aduthe
ephozhum samsarikan
thonnunu…! Ninne enike
nashta pedumoda…!
I Love U…Miss U..da,
1000 UMMA…da
Inganeyane Daily
‘SANIYA MIRZA’msg
ayakunathe !


Bike yathrakaranum Kuriviyum kootimutti. Kuriviyude botham poi!! Bothampoya kuruviye Bikekaran koottilakki. Botham vanna kuruvi-"!!Jailo?! Bikekaran Chatho?!!"

Boy:Onnu kanichu tharumo?
Girl:Chi! entha ee parayunnathu? Arenkilum kanum.
Boy:Enikkonnu kandal mathi. Please!
Girl:Hmm. Enikku pediyakunnu
Boy:Saramilla ippam kazhiyum





Havoo! Angane 5 markinte essay aayi.......


Oru gramathil sundhariyaya oru teacher undayirunnu.
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Ippo retired aayi...


Lux Rs.9.50
Lyril Rs.10.50
Chandrika Rs.12.00
Jeeva Rs.8.00
Eethu venamenkilum vangitharam
Onnu kulichal mathi!!!



want to see the greatest tourist spot - Munnaru?





666!!!!!!!
enni nokkikke moonnar illennu...ha ha!




Keralathil motham 679 puzhayum, 1234 aruviyum 2345 kulavumunde. Onnu poyi kulichu koode?



Enter Password 2 touch my heart !
*
**
***
****
wrong password !
U Have only touched my legs
Anyway ... Take my blessings...
!!! NEE YONNUM NANNAVOOLADA!!!

ni illathe enikku onnumilla
innnu njan thanneyanuuuuuuuuu
ni evide ondayirunnenkil
ninne oru sidilekku kondupoyi njan ninakku
oru um
.oru umm
.oru umma
.oru umman chandi ude nikkar kazhukan taramayirunnu


Aval oru moolippattu paady,
Njan kaathorthirunnu...
Aval onnu kadichu, Njan pulanju poyi..
Aval valichu kudichu,
Njan annangade kidannu...
Aval kuninju,
Njan purakiloode adichu...
'how', Aval pulanju,
'Chey' Ente dehathellam aayi...

'HAAVOO'

angane 'KOTHUK' chathu.



GANDHIJI ENDHINANNE UPPU SATHYAGRAHATHINE POYADE?
KALLUPINO ATHO PODIPPINO?



Vaakyathil prayogikkuka: ettum pottum. Raju 1kotta muttayumayi 8 nila buildinginte mukalil kayarininnu.Ennitu 8mutta eduthu thaazhekittu paranju"ETTUM POTTUM..


Iniyum oru masam ..iniyum oru varsham..iniyumoru unchiri..
Iniyumoru kannir. iniyumoru shishiram..ivayellam undakam..
pakshe nine pole iniyumoral athumathram sadhyamalla ..
daiwathinu ore abaddam randu pravashayam pattillalloo


Ente Rum ile Sodayanu Nee Nalla Veesukara,
Peggozhichu Njaan Kaathu Vechoruren
Chillu Glassiloorum Lickeronnu vende......
Liquoronnu vende..nalla veeshukaara..ente kootukaraa..
Thottu koottuvanulla picklum..
chipsum ennapole thottaduthu njan ninnuvenkilum veeshukilla mone..


SUPER GOOD JOB IN RAILWAY.
ONLY ONE VACANCY..........
HURRY
SALARY RS:20000/-
JOB: Train head light kedayal oru torcheduthu traininu munpe odanam..


NURSERY Yil padikkunna 2 kuttikal
oran kuttyum oru penkuttiyum ..teacharodu.
teachare njangalkku kuttikal undavooo..
taecher orikkalum illa.appo ann kutty penkuttiyodu.
njan appaye paranjilledee onnum pedikkan

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar: EVERY YEAR


Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.


After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?



When sardarji was traveling with his wife in an auto,
the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted,
"You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.


One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardarji: Any great man born in this village???
Sardarji: no sir, only small Babies!!!


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.


Sardar went in a hotel.
To wash hands he went to the washbasin.
There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Sardar pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN "

deivamee enikku sms ayakkathavarude mobile roadil veenu, atinte mukalil pandi lorry kayari, odinju madangi chulungi pappadamayi, kakka kothi kadalil ittu, athu meen thinnu, aa meenine kozhi thinnu, aa kozhi chkkun gunia pidichu chavane..

kambi 1
kambi 2
kambi 3
kambi 4
kambi 5
kambi 6
kambi 7
kambi 8
kambi 9
kambi 10
ennode kalichal ithu pole kambi ennikkum സൂക്ഷിച്ചോ

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.

What’s the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour’s wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

It’s the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It’s called Prayer! God bless ur naughty മൈന്‍ഡ്

Teachar: Pazhathinu Englishil enthanu parayuka ?
Beeran : Ba..Ba .
T: Parayu athuthaney.
B: Bayakka.

Sardar : I love u
Girl : sorry, I am Lesbian.
S: wt u mean ؟
L: I like x with Girls Only.
S: U Know one thing “I am also Lesbian”

wife-innnum nerathe poyallo enthu patty
hus-enthanannariyilla eeyideyayi inganeyanu
wife-ini varumo
hus-namukku nokkam
wife- wannallo
hus- thanks to K S E B

Kalam mayikkatha murivundo?
Kulichal pokatha azukkundo?
Chirichal kanatha pallundo?
Marakkan pattatha thettudo?
Paranjal theeratha prashnagal undo?
Ithellam vayichondirikkan ninekkentha vattundo??

Children in darkness make mistakes:swami vivekananda
Mistakes in darkness make children:swami santhosh madhavan

ninde chuvanna kannukal..
chuudulla nishwsangal…
virayaarna sareeram…
thadicha chundukal…
ho. ho. ho.

samsayamilla….

“CHICKEN GUNIYA THNNE

Ninne kanumbol… ninnoodu samsarikkumbol… ninne orkkumbol enikkorma varunnathu, onnam clasile aadyathe benchilirunnu aadyam padicha aadyathee vaakkaanu……

“THARA”

Girl : It’s 2 tight
Boy ont worry ill do it slowly,
Gal :push it in,
Boy :Ah.. I can’t,
Gal :it’s pain ful.
Boy ;forget it,
….
……
welbuy new wedding ring


sardar went to forest with his friend , pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!! friend puliyude kannil manne vari ittu.
Frnd: oodikko??
Sardar: njanethine odanam nee alle manne vaary ittathe..!!!

lets study ABCD…

A-Aristocrate
B-Black Label
C-Contessa
D-Director’s Special
E-8 pm
F-Fun drop
G-God father
H-Honeybee
I-Imperial blue
J-Joney walker
K-King fisher
L-Lime drop
M-Mc Dowell’s
N-Nepoleon
O-Original Choice
P-Peter scot
R-Royal Challenge
S-Sterilising Silver
T-Teacher’s scott
U-Uni boul
V-Vat 69
W-White Mischief
X-XXX rum
Y-Yankey
Z-Zingaro

Pranaya raagavum jeeva thaalavum pranayaksharangalil inachernnu kavyaveechikalal srishtticha aa varikal ningal orkkunille..Sneha manthra dwanikal.. Pranaya surabhila raavukalude ormakal puthukkan, orikkal koodi namukku athu ettu padam… Get ready…

1….

2…

3…

Aathala puthala thavalaachi…Chukkumarikkana choolappa… Mariyam vannu vilakoothi….Foo foo foo….

3 msgum 30 miscallum kondu moveelil vyaavaaram thudangiyavan aanu ee njyaan. Aa eniku innu 30000 misscallinteyum 3 load messaginteyum edavaadundu. Aa ennodu moda kaanikaan vannaal undallo ammayane paile msg ayachu ninte moveelinte edavaadu theerkum.Avalude oru moveelu.Thalle kalipu theeranillallo.


Innu march 36, Indiayude 99th indipendence day. Ee Thiruvona divasam cake murichum padakam pottichum Christmas agoshikunna ninaku ente hridhayam niranja Eid Mubarak..
Nee ippole vijaarikum enikku vattanenu. Vattu ninaku thanneya.. Allengil Vishuvinu ente SMS um vaayichirikkumo ? Happy Deevali. Alla pinne..!

Oru vasantha kalam,

bhoomiyil niraye pookal parimalam parathunnu.

padathu kunji kilikal virunnu vannu

aa pular kalathu nee ente veetilekku vannu .

.appol njan ente vathil ninakkai turannu.

ninte kaikal ente nere neendu vannu..

..AMMA VALLATUM TARANEE.

Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?

A. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR PASTING THEM ON THE ENVELOPES.

Nin chiri kandal…..
Kani kandal…..
Athu mathi.
Nin vili kettal…..
mozhi kettal…
Athu mathi…
annathe divasam pokaa…!

da ninne kaanathe enikku irikkan mele
aare kandalum athu neeyanenna thonal
ippol thanne oru pothine kandu
kandappol ninne pole thanne…..

when u r in trouble dont worry just give me a missed call
then,

this sweet loving friend

will’

give u another missed call

pusthakathil ninnum nee padicha INDIA alla innathe INDIA..
oru nerathe re charginayi kashtapedunnavarundu ee INDIAyil
recharge cheythal call vilikkathe ninne pole missed call cheyyunavante INDIA..
ithu manasilakan sense venam …
cellphone venam…
atleast Rs:1 enkillum balance venam……….