NO ARGUING A WIFE

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something
out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too
luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's
secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They
obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle why he was so
interested in talking to her. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he
had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, " Oh, so if you had married him, you would now
be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , to which Michelle responded,
"No, if I had married him, he would now be the President"
,

Singh is King

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America
.

 A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?"

 Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh".
 

 Another guy came and asked the him the same
question.
 Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.

   
He went up to him and asked, "Are you
Relaxing?"
  
 The other Singh was a
lot more educated and answered,"Yes, I am relaxing."

 The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid,
idiot.
 Everyone is looking for you and your are
sitting over here!"
   
   
 ************ ********* *******


A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly Saint Peter
told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances
in  education on earth. In order to gain admittance a
prospective heavenly soul,
he must answer two questions:

1.Name two days of the week that begin
with "T".

2.How many seconds are in a year?
   The
Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two
days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and 
Tomorrow.

2. There
are 12 seconds in a year.
 Saint Peter said, "OK,
I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer,
even  though it's not the answer I expected. But how did
you get 12  seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied,
"Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc..."

 Saint Peter lets him in without another word.


   
 ************ ********* ********
(3) Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all
around his living room.
    Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
    Santa : "Hidden cameras!"
    Jasmeet : "And what makes you
think that there are hidden cameras here?"
   
Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why
every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star
World Channel'. How does he know that?"
   
 
 
 ************ ********* ********

(4) Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God.
  A passerby saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"

 The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to
it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I
would have been missing too."


            
************ ********* *********


(5) Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a
fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out
of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away
as well. His shirt,pant,socks and watch follow suit.


The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going
on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions here"! It
says here "Answer the following questions in brief".

     
************ ********* *********

(6) Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic.One of them was crying like
hell. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one
said,"I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are
you afraid "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one
started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the
other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
 
   
************ ********* *********


(7) A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager
comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?"
To this the man replies,

    "Oye, see the board here ---" Wash Basin ".

Think before you flirt out !!!!!!!!!!!!!

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke Without pain and as it was still early, decided go to the party.As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and cupping a little feel here and a little kiss there.His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and
devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat.Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.


She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening""You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.To which
the husband replied,


 "Actually, I gave my costume to my Boss, apparently he had the time of his life."

Some Laws.... Newton forgot!

  
Law of queue:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, yr nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Bath THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.  

THEATRE RULE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



The Last but not least...............

Law of Motion - 4th Law
  






"Loose Motion will never be Slow Motion" 

For you

You broke my heart on the phone


I could hear something wrong in your tone

Was it something that i done to make you leave

As because of the pain i started to bleed



This is why my heart feels so sad

As memories of the love we once had

Wasn't i worth a second chance to you

As no one will ever love you the way i do



Why the hurt and why the pain

Of what you started these tears remain

As when we first fell i couldn't believe

That someone like you could ever love me



Holding each other on that cold winters night

I do miss those days as when you was my angel of light

Like a torch to my heart then i feel the warmth of you

All these passing years and i lose sleep because of you



Please realize that my heart still sounds for you

After so many years the dreams i still have of you

If you could read my poem and hear my endless cry

Would you return or still say goodbye

why ???

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?




Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?



Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?



Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?



Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?



Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?



If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?



Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?



Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?



Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?



Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?



Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?



How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?



Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?



In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?



How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?



If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Why India never gets to launch the missile ?????????????

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile,



Soviet Satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in


less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.



Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense


included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan:






This was the scenario....



The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.



They don't need any permission from their government,

and promptly order the countdowns.



Indian technology is highly advanced.





In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown

and decides to launch a missile in retribution.



But they need permission from the Government of India.



They submit their request to the Indian President.





The President forwards it to the Cabinet.





The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session.



The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests

by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.



The President asks for a quick decision.



In the mean time,

the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure.





Their attempts for a re-launch are still on.



Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority

because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.







The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.



As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote,

a caretaker government is installed.



The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear

missile.





But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government

cannot take such a decision because elections are at hand.



The Election Commission files Public Interest Litigation

in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power.



The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM,

and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision

in view of the emergency facing the nation.



Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off,

but it fell 367 miles away from the target,

on its own government building in Islamabad at 11.00AM.



Fortunately there were no casualties

as no employee had reached the office that early.





In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached

somewhere in flight.



The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies

from China and USA .





The Indian Government, taking no chances,

decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own,

after convening an all-party meeting.





This time all the parties agree.



Its three months since the army had sought permission.







But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity" , "anti-nuclear" activists come

out against the Government's decision.





Human chains are formed and 'Rasta rokos' organized.



In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning

the government and mentioning



"Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".



On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning.







Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed

wind blowing over Rajasthan.



Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.



A missile (smuggled from USA ) is pressed into service.







Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software,

it hits it original destination: Russia.



Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a

nuclear missile towards Islamabad .







The missile hits the target and creates havoc.



Pakistan cries for help.







India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million

dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.



Thus India never gets to launch the missile...!! !

ഗതികെട്ടോന്‍ രണ്ടു ബിയര്‍ അടിച്ചാല്‍ അന്ന് .......

  

സാജില്‍ ബിജുവിന്‍റെ പാട്ട് രസം കേറി വരുമ്പോളാണ് ലോലുവിനു വക്കീലിന്‍റെ ഫോണ്‍..നല്ലൊരു വ്യാഴാഴ്ച ആയിട്ടു അങ്ങേരെ മുഖം കാണിക്കണമെന്ന് ..എന്ത് കഷ്ട്ടമാനെന്നു പറയണേ ...മുന്‍പിലിരുന്ന ബിയര്‍ തീര്‍ത്തു അര മണിക്കുറിനുള്ളില്‍  അങ്ങേരുടെ മുന്‍പില്‍ എത്തിയപ്പോള്‍ ഒരു മാതിരി മറ്റേ ചിരി നാലു പറഞ്ഞാലോ എന്ന് ഓര്‍ത്തെങ്കിലും നമ്മുടെ ഊടായിപ്പിനു  ഇതിലും കട്ടക്ക് കട്ട നില്‍ക്കുന്ന വേറെ ഒരുത്തനെ കണ്ടു പിടിക്കാന്‍ ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടയാതിന്‍റെ  പേരില്‍ ഒന്നും മിണ്ടാതെ ഹെല്‍മെറ്റ്‌ ഇല്ലാതെ ട്രാഫിക് കാരന്‍ പിടിച്ച ബൈക്ക്കാരനെ പോലെ ദയനീയമായി ഞങ്ങള്‍ രണ്ടും അങ്ങേരുടെ മുഖത്തേക്ക് നോക്കി ഇരുന്നു ..

 

കാര്യം  എന്തെന്ന് ഒരു പിടിത്തവും  കിട്ടുന്നില്ല..അങ്ങേരുടെ നോട്ടം കണ്ടാല്‍ ഞങ്ങള്‍ രണ്ടും പേരും   വട്ടന്മാരും  അങ്ങേരു മനശാത്രജ്ഞനും ആണെന്ന് തോന്നും ..പെട്ടെന്ന് അങ്ങേരു പറഞ്ഞു മിസ്റ്റര്‍ ലോലു നിങ്ങളോട് എനിക്ക് രണ്ടു കാര്യം പറയാന്‍ ഉണ്ട് ..ഒന്ന് വിഷമിപ്പിക്കുന്ന കാര്യവും മറ്റൊന്ന് ഞെട്ടിക്കുന്ന കാര്യവും ആണ് ..അവന്‍ എന്നെ നോക്കി ഒന്നാലോച്ചിട്ടു ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു ആദ്യം വിഷമിപ്പിക്കുന്ന കാര്യം പറ ..വക്കീല്‍  വിഷമത്തോടെ പറഞ്ഞു നിങ്ങളുടെ ഭാര്യ ഇന്ന് 5000 ദിനാര്‍ കൊടുത്തു ഒരു ഫോട്ടോ മേടിച്ചു ..എല്ലാ പ്രവാസിയും പോലെ പെട്ടെന്ന് മനസ്സ് കണക്കുക്കൂട്ടല്‍  നടത്തി 5000 * 13 = 65000  രൂപ എന്റെ കര്‍ത്താവെ ഈ മിനിക്കിത് എന്തിന്‍റെ കേടാ..ഞാന്‍ ലോലുവിനെ നോക്കി ..തരിച്ചിരിക്കുന്നു ..പെട്ടെന്ന് അവന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു...ഇനിയിപ്പോ ഞെട്ടിക്കുന്ന വാര്‍ത്ത‍ പെട്ടെന്ന് പറ ഇതില്‍ കൂടുതല്‍ എന്തോന്ന് ഞെട്ടാനാ ? ഒരു നിമിഷം മിണ്ടാതെ ഇരുന്നിട്ട് വക്കില്‍ പെട്ടെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു

 

 

"ആ ഫോട്ടോ ലോലുവിന്റെയും നിങ്ങളുടെ ആ  ഫിലിപ്പിനി സെക്രട്ടറിയുടെയും ആണ് "..

ഓ ഇനി എന്നാ വായിക്കനാ നോക്കി ഇരിക്കുന്നെ ??? ബോധം  കേട്ട് കിടക്കുന്ന അവനെ ഞാന്‍ എടുത്തു ഒന്ന് കാറില്‍ കിടത്തട്ടെ

ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ പുരാണം

രാവിലെ ഭാര്യ പത്രവും ആയി ഓടി വരുന്നത് കണ്ടപ്പോലെ മനസ്സിലായി ഒന്നെകില്‍ സ്വര്‍ണത്തിന് വില കുരങ്ങു അല്ലേല്‍ ഏതേലും സാരി കടക്കാര് ഓഫര്‍ ഇട്ടു ..ഈ മാസവും അപ്പോള്‍ ആദ്യ ആഴ്ച തന്ന്നെ പേഴ്സ് കളി ആക്കി തരും ..

നോക്കിയപ്പോള്‍ പുതിയ ഇലക്ട്രോണിക് കടതുറക്കുന്നത് പ്രമാണിച്ച് ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ വന്പിച്ച വിലകുറവ് ..കാരിയം ഉള്ള ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ കെട്ടിയോള് കൂടെ കൂടുന്നതിന് മുന്‍പ് വീട്ടില്‍ വന്നു കേറിയതാ ..അതൊന്നു പൊക്കാന്‍  നാലു പേര് വേണം ..

എന്തായാലും  ലോലു പുതിയ ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ മേടിച്ചു ..തന്റെ വീട്ടില്‍ ഉള്ള ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ എന്ത് ചെയ്യും ? ലോലുവിന്റെ ഭാര്യ പറഞ്ഞു ഇനി ഇതും പൊക്കി പിടിച്ചു കടയില്‍ പോയാല്‍ നോക്ക് കൂലി ഇറക്കു കൂലി എല്ലാം കൂടി കുറെ കൈയില്‍  നിന്ന് പോകും ..ആര്‍ക്കെങ്കിലും ചുമ്മാ കൊടുത്തേരെ ..

പുള്ളി ഒരു തരത്തില്‍ ഉന്തി തള്ളി ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ പുറത്തു കൊണ്ട് പോയി വച്ചു കൂടെ ഒരു ബോര്‍ഡും നല്ല രീതിയില്‍ പ്രവര്‍ത്തിക്കുന്ന ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ ആവശ്യകാര് അനുവാദം ചോദിക്കാതെ എടുക്കാവുന്നതാണ് ..എന്ത് ചെയാന്‍ ..

2  ദിവസം കഴിഞ്ഞിട്ടും ഒറ്റ മനുഷ്യന്‍ തിരിഞ്ഞു  നോക്കുന്നില്ല..ലോലു പുതിയ ബോര്‍ഡ്‌ വച്ചു ..നല്ല രീതിയില്‍ പ്രവത്തിക്കുന്ന ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ 1000 രൂപ ..

 

 

പിറ്റേ ദിവസം തന്നെ ആരോ അത് മോഷ്ടിചോണ്ട്  പോയി..

nothing has changed

20 years back - School bag.

Today - Office bag.


20 years back - Lekhak Note book.

Today - HP Note book.



20 years back - Hero Ranger.

Today - Hero Honda.


20 years back - Half pants.

Today - Full pants.


20 years back - Playing with plastic car running on battery and remote.

Today - Playing with metal car running on petrol and gear.


20 years back - Scared of Teachers and exams.

Today - Scared of Bosses and targets.



20 years back - Wanting to be class topper.

Today - Wanting to be 'Employee of the month'.


20 years back - Quarterly exams.

Today - Quarterly results.



20 years back - Annual School Magazine.

Today - Company Annual Report.


20 years back - Annual exams.

Today - Annual appraisals.


20 years back - Pocket money.

Today - Salary.



20 years back - Waiting for Xmas crackers.

Today - Waiting for Xmas bonus.



20 years back - Running after grades and prize cups.

Today - Running after incentives and promotions.



20 years back - Craving for the latest toy in the market.

Today - Craving for the latest gadget in the market.


20 years back - Eager to watch the latest cartoon show.

Today - Eager to watch the latest blockbuster.



20 years back - Crush on class mate.

Today - Crush on colleague.



So essentially nothing has changed!!

സിനിമകള്‍ പഠിപ്പിക്കുന്നത്‌ ??

സിനിമകള്‍ ആള്‍ക്കാരെ വഴിതെറ്റിക്കുന്നുവോ ?
സിനിമകള്‍ സമൂഹ നിര്‍മാണത്തില്‍ വഹിക്കുന്ന പങ്ക് എന്താണ് ?
കേരളത്തില്‍ കമലഹാസനെ ആദരികേണ്ട കാര്യമുണ്ടോ ?

ഇതൊന്നും ഞാന്‍ എഴുതാന്‍ പോകുന്നില്ല ..കഴിഞ പത്തിരുപതു വര്ഷം സിനിമ കണ്ടത്തില്‍ നിന്ന് ഞാന്‍ പഠിച്ച കാര്യങ്ങള്‍ പറയാം ..

1 ഒരേ പോലെ ഇരിക്കുന്ന 2 ഇരട്ടകുട്ടികളില്‍ ഒന്ന് സര്‍വഗുണ സമ്പന്നനും മറ്റവന്‍ ലോകത്തിലെ ഏറ്റവും വലിയ തെമ്മാടിയും ആയിരിക്കും ..




2 നിങ്ങള്‍ ബോംബു നിര്‍വീരിയം  ആക്കാന്‍ ഒട്ടും പേടിക്കേണ്ട ..2  വയറുകളില്‍ നിങ്ങള്‍ മുറിക്കുന്നത് ആയിരിക്കും ശരിയായിട്ടുള്ള ഒന്ന് ..



3 റൂമിലെ ലൈറ്റ് കെടുത്തി നിങ്ങള്‍ ഉറങ്ങാന്‍ പോയാലും നിങ്ങളുടെ മുറിയിലെ എല്ലാ വസ്തുകളും വളരെ വക്തമായി കാണാന്‍ സാധിക്കും
(എന്‍റെ മുറിയിലെ ലൈറ്റ് കെടുത്തിയാല്‍  എങ്ങനെ ഞാന്‍ ബെഡ് വരെ എത്തുന്നതെന്ന് എനിക്ക് മാത്രമേ അറിയൂ ..)



4 നായകന് ഇരുമ്പ് കമ്പി വച്ച് അടിച്ചാല്‍ പോലും ഒരു വേദനയും കാണില്ല ..കൂള്‍ ആയി നിന്ന് കൊള്ളും.എന്നാല്‍ നായികാ മുറിവില്‍ മരുന്നുവച്ചു കെട്ടുമ്പോള്‍ വേദന കൊണ്ട് പുളയും (വൈദ്യ ശാസ്ത്രത്തിനു ഇത് വരെ നിര്‍വചിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയാത്ത ഒരു പ്രധിഭാസമാണ് ഇത് )


5 ജോലിയില്‍ നിന്ന് പുറത്താക്കിയാലോ മറ്റു ഒരു ഡിക്റ്റിവിനു കേസ് കൈമാറിയാലോ  മാത്രമേ ഒരു ഡിക്റ്റിവിനു കേസ് അനേഷിച്ചു കണ്ടു പിടിക്കാന്‍ പറ്റു..


6 നിങ്ങള്‍ ഒരു തെരുവില്‍ നിന്ന് ഡാന്‍സ് ചെയ്യാന്‍ തീരുമാനിച്ചാല്‍ അവിടെ ഉള്ള എല്ലാവരും നിങ്ങളുടെ കൂടെ ഡാന്‍സ് ചെയ്യുകയും അവര്‍ക്കെല്ലാം നിങ്ങള്‍ ചെയുന്ന സ്റ്റെപ്സ് അറിയുകയും ചെയ്യും ..


ഡ്യൂട്ടി കഴിഞു ബാക്കി അറിവുകള്‍ പിന്നെ പങ്ക് വക്കുന്നതായിരിക്കും

Gandhiji

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth.
He replied, “I had three!”
God was very Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted.God gave Shastri a Mercedes!


Subhash Chandra Bose was asked the same question.
When he replied that he had 10 children
God was a bit upset and gave him a cheaper car, the Ford.


The next is Jawaharlal. He decided to see what happens if he says he had 15 children.
God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.


After Sometime, the three saw Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.
They ask why God hadn’t given him anything
Gandhiji replied with anger,





“Some idiot told God that I was the father of a nation!“

ലോലു

ലോലു വിശുദ്ധ നാട് സന്ദര്‍ശിക്കാന്‍ പോയി..

എല്ലാ സന്തോഷത്തിനും ഒരു പരിധി ഉണ്ടല്ലോ ?
ഇവിടെയും അങ്ങനെ തന്നെ ,കൂടെ ഭാര്യയും അമ്മായി അമ്മയും ..

അവിടെ വച്ച് ലോലു വിന്‍റെ അമ്മായി അമ്മ മരിച്ചു ..പാവം ലോലു എന്താ ചെയ്യുക ഭാഷയും അറിയില്ല എന്താ ചെയ്യേണ്ടേ എന്നും അറിയില്ല .. അവസാനം വഴിയില്‍ വച്ച് കണ്ട ഒരാളുടെ കാല് പിടിച്ചു ..

അവന്‍ ലോലുവിനെ ഒരു മലയാളിയെ പരിചയപെടുത്തി .ആളു പാലക്കാരന്‍ തന്നെ ചാക്കോച്ചന്‍ .പുള്ളിക്കാരനോട് അനേഷിച്ചു കഴിഞ്ഞപ്പോള്‍ ആണ് അറിയുന്നെ മരിച്ച ആളെ വിശുദ്ധ നാട്ടില്‍ അടക്കം ചെയ്യാന്‍ $150 ഉള്ളു എന്നാല്‍ നാട്ടിലോട്ടു കൊണ്ട് പോകണമെങ്കില്‍ $1000 കൊടുക്കണം ..



കുറച്ചു ആലോചിച്ചിട്ട് ലോലു പറഞ്ഞു നാട്ടിലോട്ടു കൊണ്ട് പോകാം ..ഭാര്യ ഉള്‍പെടെ എല്ലാരും ഞെട്ടി ..അടുത്ത് മുറിയില്‍ പുറത്തേക്കു നോക്കി നില്‍ക്കുന്ന ലോലുവിന്റെ അടുത്ത് ചെന്ന നമ്മുടെ ചാക്കോച്ചന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു ..

ഹോ എന്‍റെ ലോലു നിന്നെ പോലെ നല്ല ഒരു ചെറുപ്പക്കാരനെ ഈ കാലത്ത് കാണാന്‍ പോലും കിട്ടില്ല .സ്വന്തം മക്കള് പോലും ഇങ്ങനെ ഒന്നും ചെയില്ല പിന്നെ അല്ലേ മരുമോനായ നീ .

അപ്പോള്‍ ലോലു ചുറ്റും നോക്കിട്ടു പതുക്കെ പുള്ളിക്കാരനോട് പറഞ്ഞു :


ചേട്ടാ അത്ര നല്ലവന്‍ ആയതു കൊണ്ട് ഒന്നും അല്ല..ദേ നോക്കിക്കേ എവിടെ 2000 വര്ഷം മുന്‍പ് കര്‍ത്താവിനെ അടക്കിയിട്ടു പുള്ളി മൂന്നാം ദിവസം പുല്ലു പോലെ എണിറ്റു പോന്നു ..എനിക്ക് റിസ്ക്‌ എടുക്കാന്‍ മേല ചേട്ടാ ..

What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,


Your eyes so bright and blue.

I love the way you kiss me,

Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,

And the ways you show you care.

I love the way you say, "I Love You,"

And the way you're always there.


I love the way you touch me,

Always sending chills down my spine.

I love that you are with me,

And glad that you are mine.

this is called Understanding

A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her
husband:

"Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Something that
accelerates from 0 to 80 in 4 seconds".... ..." And I would prefer a

blue one please"!

Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.

And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully
bought...... .......

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A Blue Coloured Weighing Machine

wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup,the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be pleasant in general,
and make sure he stays in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again.
Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your
problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. . 
"If you can do this for the next 1 to 2 months, I think your husband will regain his health completely.


On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"


"You're going to die," she replied.

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY...? ??

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.



2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.


3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at

the Airport.


4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.


5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.


6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.


7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram &

Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)


8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere,

close to their real names.


9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'


10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.


11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.


12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house

whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.


13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but

they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles

and Aunties' will think.


14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for

special occasions, which never happen.


15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table


16. You are one of the most intelligent smart person in your company whichever the country it may be.


17. You are married only ones


18. You are always the last person to leave the company as you are among the hardworking people in the company who are also Indians


19. You share your things with friends and not expect them back.


20. You always like to SMILE and spread the message of LOVE.

love letter

My Dearest,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since

the 15th of August (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 14th of Aug. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might are of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice andI shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could

forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

The Computer Hubby

Husband (Returning late from work ) :


"Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."


Wife : Have you brought the grocery ?

Husband : Bad command or filename.


Wife : What about my new TV?

Husband : Variable not found ...



Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...



Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?

Husband : Too many parameters ...



Wife : It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.

Husband : Data type mismatch.



Wife : You are a useless nut.

Husband : By Default.



Wife : What about your Salary ?

Husband : File in use ... Try after some time.



Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?

Husband : System is unstable.

Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot.



Wife : Are you going to drink some wine?

Husband : File system is full.



Wife : What is my value in the family ?

Husband : Unknown Virus.

Sardarji applied to a Medical School

Sardarji applied to a Medical School
- Needless to say he never made it -
Because these are the answers he gave for medical terms.
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - the study of fine paintings
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria
Benign - what you be after you be eight
Bowel - letters like a,e,i,o,u
Caesarian Section - a district in Rome
Cardiology - advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan - searching for lost kitty
Chronic - neck of a crow
Coma - punctuation mark
Cortisone - area around local court
Cyst - short for sister
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation - in this place
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans
Enema - not a friend
False Labor - pretending to work
Genes - blue denim
Groin - to mash to a pulp / smile
Hernia - she is close by
Hymen - greeting to several males
Impotent - distinguished / well-known
Labor Pain - hurt at work
Lactose - people without feet
Lymph - walk unsteadily
Menopause - I no wait
Microbes - small dressing gowns
Obesity - City of Obe
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein - in favor of teens
Pulse - grain
Pus - small cat
Red Blood Count - Dracula
Rupture - Ecstasy
Secretion - hiding anything
Subcutaneous - not cute enough
Suture - Gujrati for "what do you want"
Tablet - small table
Tumor - extra pair
Ultrasound - radical noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - very close
Vas Deferens - extremely different
Vein - at what time?
Vitreous Humor - both witty & funny

ഫാ. ഓണംകുളത്തിന്റെ കബറിടത്തിലേക്ക്‌ വിശ്വാസികളുടെ പ്രവാഹം

കുറ്റവാളിയായി സമൂഹവും കോടതിയും മുദ്ര കുത്തിയപ്പോഴും ഒടുവില്‍ കുറ്റവിമുക്തനാക്കിയപ്പോള്‍ ദ്രോഹിച്ചവര്‍ക്കു മാപ്പു കൊ ടുത്ത്‌ സഹനജീവിതത്തിന്റെ മാര്‍ഗത്തിലൂടെ ജീവിതം നയിച്ച ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ടി ന്റെ കബറിടത്തിലേക്ക്‌ ഇപ്പോള്‍ രോഗസൗ ഖ്യം തേടി വിശ്വാസികളുടെ പ്രവാഹം.

``കത്തോലിക്കാസഭ ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ടിനെ വിശുദ്ധനാക്കുവാന്‍ നടപടികള്‍ തുടങ്ങി യോ എന്ന്‌ ഞങ്ങള്‍ക്കറിയില്ല. ഏതായാലും ഞങ്ങളുടെ ആവശ്യങ്ങള്‍ സഹനദാസന്‍ ഓ ണംകുളത്തച്ചന്‍ സാധിച്ചുതരുന്നുണ്ട്‌.'' ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ടിന്റെ കബറിടത്തില്‍ എത്തിയ ഒരു വിശ്വാസിയുടേതാണീ വാക്കുകള്‍. ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ടിന്‌ `സഹനദാസന്‍' എന്ന പദവി വിശ്വാസികള്‍ തന്നെ ചാര്‍ത്തി യതാണ്‌.

ബെനഡിക്‌ടച്ചന്റെ കബറിടത്തിങ്കലെത്തുന്ന ഭൂരിഭാഗവും മലബാറില്‍ നിന്നുള്ളവരാണ്‌.
1966 ജൂണ്‍ 16 നാണ്‌ കേരളത്തെ മുഴുവന്‍ ഞെട്ടിക്കുകയും കോളിളക്കം സൃഷ്‌ടിക്കുകയും ചെയ്‌ത മാ ടത്തരുവി മറിയക്കുട്ടിയെ കൊല്ലപ്പെട്ട നിലയില്‍ ക ണ്ടെത്തുന്നത്‌. കൊളുന്ത്‌ നുള്ളാനെത്തിയ തൊഴിലാ ളി സ്‌ത്രീകളാണ്‌ ആദ്യം മൃതദേഹം കണ്ടെത്തിയത്‌. ബെഡ്‌ഷീറ്റ്‌ ശരീരത്തില്‍ പുതച്ചിരുന്നു. ശരീരമാസകലം പത്തോളം കുത്തുകള്‍ ഏറ്റിരുന്നു. ആഭരണ വും പണവും മൃതദേഹത്തില്‍ നിന്ന്‌ ലഭിച്ചതിനാല്‍ മോഷണമല്ല കൊലപാതക ലക്ഷ്യമെന്ന്‌ പോലിസ്‌ കണക്കുകൂട്ടി. മൃതദേഹം പിറ്റേന്ന്‌ പോസ്റ്റുമോര്‍ട്ടത്തിനു ശേഷം സമീപത്തെ റിസര്‍വ്‌ വനത്തില്‍ സംസ്‌കരിച്ചു.

പത്രവാര്‍ത്തയറിഞ്ഞ്‌ ആലപ്പുഴയില്‍ നി ന്നെത്തി, തെളിവുകള്‍ കണ്ടാണ്‌ മരിച്ചത്‌ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയാണെന്ന്‌ ബന്ധുക്കള്‍ തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞത്‌. ചങ്ങനാശേരിയില്‍ നിന്ന്‌ ആലപ്പുഴയ്‌ക്ക്‌ മാറിത്താമസിച്ച ഉപ്പായിയുടെയും മറിയാമ്മയുടെയും എട്ടുമക്കളില്‍ രണ്ടാമത്തെ ആളായിരുന്നു മറിയക്കുട്ടി. സാമ്പത്തികബുദ്ധിമുട്ട്‌ ഉള്ള കുടുംബാംഗമായിരുന്ന മറിയക്കുട്ടി വിധവയായിരുന്നു. മൂന്നു തവണ വിവാഹം കഴിച്ചു. മൂന്നാമത്തെ ഭര്‍ത്താവിനു തളര്‍വാ തം പിടിപെട്ടപ്പോള്‍ അദ്ദേഹത്തെ ഉപേക്ഷിച്ച്‌ മക്കളുമായി അമ്മയ്‌ക്കൊപ്പം ആലപ്പുഴയില്‍ താമസം തുടങ്ങി. പിന്നീട്‌ മൂന്നാമത്തെ ഭര്‍ത്താവും മരിച്ചു. ഇളയകുട്ടിയെ സഹോദരിയെ ഏല്‍പിച്ച്‌ വൈകിട്ട്‌ തിരിച്ചെത്തുമെന്ന്‌ പറഞ്ഞിറങ്ങിയ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയെ പിന്നെ ജീവനോടാരും കണ്ടില്ല.

മരിച്ചത്‌ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയാണെന്നുറപ്പു വരുത്തിയതോടെ പോലിസ്‌ സാക്ഷ്യമൊഴികളും സാഹചര്യത്തെളിവുകളും വച്ച്‌ ജൂണ്‍ 24-ന്‌ ചങ്ങനാശേരി അതിരൂപതാംഗമായ ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ ഓണംകുളത്തെ അറസ്റ്റു ചെ യ്യുകയായിരുന്നു. 1962 മുതല്‍ 64 വരെ അദ്ദേ ഹം ആലപ്പുഴ ചക്കരക്കടവ്‌ പള്ളിയില്‍ വി കാരിയായിരുന്നു. ഇവിടെ വച്ചാണ്‌ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയെ പരിചയപ്പെടുന്നത്‌. 1962 ല്‍ ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ കൊല നടന്നെന്നു പറയപ്പെടുന്ന മാടത്തരുവിക്കു സമീപമുള്ള കണ്ണംപള്ളി പള്ളിയില്‍ സേവനമനുഷ്‌ഠിച്ചിരുന്നു.

1966 ജൂണ്‍ 24. ചങ്ങനാശേരി അതിരൂപതാ അരമന പ്രസിന്റെ മാനേജരായിരുന്ന ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചനെ മറിയക്കുട്ടി കൊലക്കേസിലെ ഒന്നാം പ്രതിയാക്കി അറസ്റ്റു ചെയ്‌തുവെന്ന വാര്‍ത്ത നാടിനെ ഇളക്കി.
എല്ലാ പത്രങ്ങളും ബെനഡിക്‌ടച്ചനെ കൊ ലപാതകിയാക്കി ഒന്നാം പേജില്‍ വാര്‍ത്ത നല്‍കി. സഭയ്‌ക്കെതിരെയും വൈദികര്‍ക്കെതിരെയും നിരന്തര വാര്‍ത്തകളായിരുന്നു പിന്നെ കുറെക്കാലം. ജയിലിലായ അച്ചന്‍ തെറ്റിദ്ധരിക്കപ്പെട്ട തന്റെ മാതാപിതാക്കളെ ഓര്‍ത്ത്‌ കഠിനദുഃഖത്തിലായിരുന്നു.

എങ്കിലും ഇതു ദൈവപരിപാലനയാണെന്ന്‌ അദ്ദേഹം മാതാപിതാക്കള്‍ക്കെഴുതിയ കത്തില്‍ സൂചിപ്പിച്ചിരുന്നു. മരിച്ച മറിയക്കുട്ടിയുമായി ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചന്‌ അവിഹിതബന്ധമുണ്ടായിരുന്നുവെന്നും രണ്ടു വയസുള്ള കുട്ടി അച്ചന്റേതാണെന്നും വീണ്ടും ഗര്‍ഭിണിയായപ്പോള്‍ ശല്യമുണ്ടാക്കാതിരിക്കാന്‍ കൊന്നുകളഞ്ഞതാണെന്നുമായിരുന്നു പ്രോസിക്യൂഷന്‍ വാദം. മറിയക്കുട്ടിയ്‌ക്കെന്നല്ല ഈ ഭൂമുഖത്ത്‌ ഒരു സ്‌ത്രീക്കും തന്നില്‍നിന്നു കുട്ടി ജനിച്ചിട്ടില്ലെന്നും ഒരു സ്‌ത്രീയുമായും തനിക്ക്‌ അവിഹിതബന്ധമില്ലെന്നും അതോര്‍ത്തു മാതാപിതാക്കള്‍ വിഷമിക്കരുതെന്നും അച്ചന്‍ വ്യക്തമായി മാതാപിതാക്കള്‍ക്ക്‌ എഴുതിയിരുന്നു.

ജയിലിലായ ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചന്റെ കേസ്‌ അതിവേഗം വിചാരണ ചെയ്യപ്പെട്ടു. വിചാരണയുടെ ഓരോ ദിവസവും പത്രങ്ങള്‍ക്ക്‌ ആഘോഷമായി. ക്രിസ്‌ത്യാനികള്‍ക്കും വൈദികര്‍ക്കും പുറത്തിറങ്ങി നടക്കാന്‍ വയ്യാത്ത അവസ്ഥയായി. വൈദികരെ കണ്ടാല്‍ സമൂഹം കൂക്കിവിളിക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങി. മന്ദമരുതി മൈനത്തുരുവി മാടത്തുരുവി മറിയക്കുട്ടി ഇതായിരുന്നു നാടെങ്ങും സംസാരവിഷയം. നിറം പിടിപ്പിച്ച കഥകള്‍ എഴുതാന്‍ പത്രങ്ങളും മത്സരിച്ചു. സിനിമകളും ഇതേ പേരില്‍ ജന്മമെടുത്തു.
അതിവേഗ കോടതി വിചാരണ വേഗം പൂര്‍ത്തിയാക്കി. വിധിക്കു ജനം കാതോര്‍ത്തിരുന്നു. കത്തോലിക്കാ വൈദികനെ വധശിക്ഷയ്‌ക്ക്‌ വിധിക്കുന്ന വാര്‍ത്ത കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ ശത്രുമാധ്യമങ്ങളും ശത്രുഗണങ്ങളും കാതോര്‍ത്തിരുന്നു. അങ്ങനെ അരുതാത്തതു സംഭവിച്ചു. ആ വാര്‍ത്ത വിശ്വാസികളെ ഞെട്ടിച്ചു. ദൈവദാസന്‍ കാവുകാട്ടു പിതാവിന്‌ ഹൃദയാഘാതം ഉണ്ടായി. ശത്രുക്കള്‍ക്ക്‌ ആഘോഷമായി. 1966 നവംബര്‍ 19 ന്‌ കൊല്ലം സെഷന്‍സ്‌ കോടതി ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചനെ മരണംവരെ തൂക്കിലിടാന്‍ ശിക്ഷിച്ചു. കത്തോലിക്കാ പുരോഹിതരെ ഒന്നടങ്കം ആക്ഷേപിക്കുന്നതായിരുന്നു വിധി. ജൂണ്‍ 24 ന്‌ അറസ്റ്റു ചെയ്യപ്പെട്ടയാള്‍ നവംബര്‍ 19 ന്‌ മരണശിക്ഷയ്‌ക്ക്‌ വിധിക്കപ്പെട്ടു.

കേസിന്‌ അപ്പീല്‍ പോവേണ്ട ഞാന്‍ മരിച്ചുകൊള്ളാം എന്ന്‌ അച്ചന്‍ വീട്ടിലേക്കെഴുതി. സഹനം അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്‌ ആനന്ദമായിി. അച്ചന്‍ തീര്‍ത്തും നിരപരാധിയാണെന്നറിയാമായിരുന്ന വിശ്വാസികള്‍ അച്ചനുവേണ്ടി അപ്പീല്‍ കൊടുക്കാന്‍ തീരുമാനിച്ചു. 1967 ഏപ്രില്‍ ഏഴിന്‌ ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചനെ വെറുതെ വിട്ടുകൊണ്ട്‌ ഹൈക്കോടതി വിധി വന്നു. പോലിസ്‌ അച്ചനെ മനഃപൂര്‍വം പ്രതിയാക്കുകയായിരുന്നു. ഒരു മുതലാളിക്ക്‌ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയുമായി അവിഹിതബന്ധമുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. അതിലൊരു കുട്ടിയുണ്ട്‌. ഈ കുട്ടി അച്ചന്റേതാണെന്നായിരുന്നു പ്രോസിക്യൂഷന്‍ വാദം. ശാസ്‌ത്രീയ പരീക്ഷണത്തില്‍ കുട്ടി അച്ചന്റേതല്ലെന്നു തെളിഞ്ഞിരുന്നു. ഇതാണ്‌ അച്ചനെ വെറുതെ വിടുവാന്‍ കാരണം.
മുതലാളിയില്‍നിന്ന്‌ മറിയക്കുട്ടിക്ക്‌ വീണ്ടും ഗര്‍ഭമുണ്ടായതോടെ, ഗര്‍ഭഛിദ്രം ചെയ്യാനൊരു ഡോക്‌ടറെ സമീപിച്ചു. ഗര്‍ഭഛിദ്ര ശസ്‌ത്രക്രിയയ്‌ക്കിടെ മറിയക്കുട്ടി മരിച്ചു. പരിഭ്രാന്തരായ മുതലാളിയും ഡോക്‌ടറും മറിയക്കുട്ടിയെ തേയിലക്കാട്ടില്‍ കൊണ്ടിടുകയും കൊലപാതകമാക്കുന്നതിനായി ശരീരത്ത്‌ കുത്തി മുറിവേല്‌പിക്കുകയും ചെയ്‌തു. മറിയക്കുട്ടിയെ മുതലാളി സഹായിച്ചിരുന്നത്‌ അച്ചന്‍ വഴിയാണ്‌. മുതലാളിയും മറിയക്കുട്ടിയുമായുള്ള അവിഹിതബന്ധം അച്ചന്‍ അറിഞ്ഞിരുന്നതുമില്ല. പലപ്പോഴും സഹായം വാങ്ങുവാന്‍ മറിയക്കുട്ടി അച്ചനെ സമീപിച്ചിരുന്നു. ഇതാണ്‌ പോലിസിന്‌ സംശയം സൃഷ്‌ടിച്ചത്‌.

ആലപ്പുഴ ചക്കരക്കടവ്‌ പള്ളിയില്‍ ഗോതമ്പും പാല്‍പ്പൊടിയും സൗജന്യമായി വിതരണം ചെയ്‌തിരുന്നു. പള്ളിയില്‍നിന്നു ലഭിക്കുന്ന ഗോതമ്പും പാല്‍പ്പൊടിയും കൊണ്ടാണ്‌ പല കുടുംബങ്ങളും പുലര്‍ന്നിരുന്നത്‌. അതില്‍ ഒന്നായിരുന്നു മറിയക്കുട്ടിയുടെ കുടുംബവും. ഈ കാലയളവിലാണ്‌ പത്തനംതിട്ട ജില്ലയിലെ കണ്ണംപള്ളി കത്തോലിക്കാ പള്ളിയില്‍ വികാരിയായിരുന്ന ഫാ. ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ ചക്കരക്കുളം പള്ളിയിലേക്കു സ്ഥലം മാറി വന്നത്‌. ഗോതമ്പ്‌, പാല്‍പ്പൊടി വിതരണത്തിന്റെ ചുമതല ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചനായിരുന്നു. സൗജന്യമായി ലഭിച്ചിരുന്ന ഗോതമ്പും പാല്‍പ്പൊടിയും വാങ്ങാന്‍ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയും വരാറുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. തുടര്‍ന്ന്‌ ബെനഡിക്‌ടച്ചന്‍ ചങ്ങനാശേരി അരമന പ്രസിന്റെ മാനേജരായി ചുമതലയേറ്റു.

അച്ചനെ അറസ്റ്റു ചെയ്‌തതുമുതല്‍ കൊടിയ പീഡനമാണേല്‍ക്കേണ്ടി വന്നത്‌. കുറ്റം സമ്മതിക്കുന്നതിനായി കൊടിയ പീഡനം. യേശുവിന്റെ ശരീരവും രക്തവും വാഴ്‌ത്തി നല്‍കുന്ന കൈകള്‍ പോലിസിന്റെ ഷൂസുകള്‍കൊണ്ട്‌ ചവിട്ടിയരച്ചു. ദേഹമാസകലം ലാത്തിയടിയുടെ പാടുകള്‍ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു. പോലിസിന്റെ കൊടിയ പീഡനത്തിനിടയില്‍ പലപ്പോഴും അച്ചന്‌ ബോധം മറഞ്ഞിരുന്നു. കുറ്റം ചെയ്യാത്തവനും ചെയ്‌തെന്നു പറഞ്ഞുപോകുന്ന ഭീകരമായ മൂന്നാംമുറയും പ്രയോഗിക്കപ്പെട്ടു. പോലിസിന്റെ മര്‍ദ്ദനങ്ങള്‍ക്കിടയിലും അച്ചന്‍ എനിക്കൊന്നും അറിയില്ലെന്ന്‌ പറഞ്ഞ്‌ കരഞ്ഞിരുന്നു. അതാണ്‌ മര്‍ദ്ദനം ഇരട്ടിയാക്കിയത്‌. മാസങ്ങള്‍ നീണ്ട പീഡനങ്ങള്‍ക്കും ജയില്‍വാസത്തിനും വിരാമമിട്ടുകൊണ്ട്‌ ക്രൂരമായ വിധിപ്രസ്‌താവനയും. അപമാനഭാരത്തിന്റെ തീച്ചൂളയില്‍ എരിഞ്ഞുകൊണ്ടിരുന്ന ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചനെ ഹൈക്കോടതി കുറ്റവിമുക്തനാക്കിയെങ്കിലും കൊലയാളിയെന്ന മുദ്ര അച്ചനെ വിട്ടുപിരിഞ്ഞിരുന്നില്ല. നിരപരാധി എന്ന്‌ സ്വന്തം മനഃസാക്ഷി മന്ത്രിക്കുമ്പോഴും കൊലപാതകിയെന്ന്‌ മുദ്രകുത്തപ്പെട്ട ഒരു സമൂഹമധ്യത്തില്‍ മറ്റുള്ളവരുടെ പരിഹാസങ്ങള്‍ ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങിയാണ്‌ അച്ചന്‍ കഴിഞ്ഞത്‌. പക്ഷേ, അച്ചന്‍ പാവങ്ങളെ സ്‌നേഹിച്ചും പീഡിതരെയും നിരാശ്രയരെയും ആശ്വസിപ്പിച്ചും തന്റെ ജീവിതം മുന്നോട്ട്‌ നീക്കി. ഹൃദ്രോഗബാധയെത്തുടര്‍ന്ന്‌ അച്ചന്‍ കോട്ടയം മെഡിക്കല്‍ കോളജിനു സമീപം മുടിയൂര്‍ക്കരയിലുള്ള വൈദികകേന്ദ്രത്തില്‍ വര്‍ഷങ്ങളോളം വിശ്രമജീവിതത്തിലായിരുന്നു. വിശ്രമജീവിതം നയിച്ചുവന്ന ഫാദറിനെ തേടി എഴുപതാം വയസില്‍ മറിയക്കുട്ടിയുടെ യഥാര്‍ത്ഥ ഘാതകനായ ഡോക്‌ടറുടെ മക്കളെത്തി കുറ്റം ഏറ്റുപറഞ്ഞ്‌ മാപ്പിരന്നപ്പോഴും യേശുവിന്റെ ക്ഷമിക്കുന്ന സ്‌നേഹത്തിന്റെ മാതൃക ലോകത്തിനു കാണിച്ചുകൊടുത്തുകൊണ്ട്‌ അവരെ അനുഗ്രഹിക്കുവാനാണ്‌ അച്ചന്‍ ശ്രമിച്ചത്‌. 2000 ജനുവരി 14 ന്‌ ആണ്‌ ഡോക്‌ടറുടെ മക്കള്‍ അച്ചനെ സന്ദര്‍ശിച്ച്‌ കുറ്റം ഏറ്റുപറഞ്ഞത്‌. ഡോക്‌ടറുടെ കുടുംബത്തിന്‌ സംഭവത്തിനുശേഷമുണ്ടായ തിരിച്ചടികളാണ്‌ പിതാവിന്റെ കുറ്റം ഏറ്റുപറയാന്‍ മക്കളെ പ്രേരിപ്പിച്ചത്‌. കെ.കെ. തോമസ്‌, ചെറിയാന്‍ എന്നിവരാണ്‌ അച്ചനെ കാണാന്‍ വന്നത്‌. തുടര്‍ന്ന്‌ ഇവരുടെ സഹോദരിമാരും അച്ചനെ സന്ദര്‍ശിച്ചു. ഡോക്‌ടറും തോട്ടം ഉടമയും മുമ്പേ മരിച്ചിരുന്നു. സത്യം വെളിപ്പെടുത്തിയിട്ടും അച്ചന്‍ ഇതാരോടും പറഞ്ഞില്ല. പിന്നീട്‌ 11 മാസങ്ങള്‍ക്കുശേഷം മാധ്യമങ്ങളിലൂടെയാണ്‌ സംഭവം പുറംലോകം അറിയുന്നത്‌.

തെറ്റുകള്‍ ഏറ്റുപറഞ്ഞ്‌ മാപ്പിരന്നവരെ കുറ്റപ്പെടുത്താതെ ആശ്വസിപ്പിച്ചുവിടുകയാണ്‌ അച്ചന്‍ ചെയ്‌തത്‌. ഇതു കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ എന്റെ അച്ചായന്‍ ഇല്ലാതെ പോയല്ലോയെന്ന വിഷമം മാത്രം അവരോട്‌ പറഞ്ഞു. 2001 ജനുവരി മൂന്നിന്‌ 71-ാം വയസില്‍ അച്ചന്‍ നിത്യസമ്മാനത്തിനായി വിളിക്കപ്പെട്ടു.

അതിരമ്പുഴ സെന്റ്‌ മേരീസ്‌ ഫൊറോന പള്ളിയോടു ചേര്‍ന്നുള്ള വൈദികരുടെ സെമിത്തേരിയിലാണ്‌ അടക്കം ചെയ്‌തത്‌. സഭ പ്രഖ്യാപിച്ച വൈദികവര്‍ഷാചരണത്തോടനുബന്ധിച്ച്‌ സഹനദാസനെന്ന്‌ വിളിച്ച്‌ അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ കല്ലറ പുതുക്കി പണിയുകയും വിശ്വാസികള്‍ക്ക്‌ പ്രാര്‍ത്ഥിക്കുവാനുള്ള സൗകര്യമൊരുക്കുകയുമായിരുന്നു. സഹനത്തിന്റെ മഹത്വീകരണത്തിന്റെ നാളുകളാണിത്‌. ബെനഡിക്‌ടച്ചന്റെ കബറിടത്തിലേക്ക്‌ വിശ്വാസികള്‍ ഒഴുകിക്കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു. നിരവധി രോഗസൗഖ്യങ്ങള്‍ ലഭിക്കുന്നതായി റിപ്പോര്‍ട്ടുകളുണ്ട്‌.

ഗള്‍ഫില്‍ നിന്ന്‌ ഓപ്പറേഷനുവേണ്ടി നാട്ടില്‍ വന്നതിനുശേഷം ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചന്റെ കബറിടത്തിലെത്തി പ്രാര്‍ത്ഥിച്ചതിന്റെ ഫലമായി ഓപ്പറേഷന്‍ നടത്താതെ രോഗസൗഖ്യം നേടിയതും എസ്‌.എസ്‌.എല്‍.സി പരീക്ഷയ്‌ക്കിടെ ബ്ലഡ്‌ ക്യാന്‍സര്‍ പിടിപെട്ട്‌ ലേക്‌ഷോര്‍ ആശുപത്രിയില്‍ ചികിത്സയില്‍ കഴിഞ്ഞുവരവേ ലിജോയെന്ന 15 കാരന്‌ രോഗസൗഖ്യം ലഭിച്ചതും അവയില്‍ ചിലതുമാത്രം. ലിയോയുടെ മുത്തച്ഛന്‍ എം.സി. അലക്‌സാണ്ടര്‍ കബറിടത്തിലെത്തി കരഞ്ഞു പ്രാര്‍ത്ഥിച്ചതിന്റെ ഫലമായാണ്‌ മൂന്നു മാസത്തിനകം മരിക്കുമെന്ന്‌ വിധിയെഴുതിയ ലിജോ പൂര്‍ണ ആരോഗ്യവാനായി ഇപ്പോള്‍ പത്താംക്ലാസില്‍ വീണ്ടും പഠിക്കുകയാണ്‌. അതിരമ്പുഴ സെന്റ്‌ മേരീസ്‌ പള്ളിയിലെ കബറിടത്തിനു മുന്‍പില്‍ പ്രാര്‍ത്ഥനയുമായി എത്തുന്നവര്‍ക്ക്‌ ആശ്വാസത്തിന്റെ വെളിച്ചമായി ഓണംകുളത്തച്ചന്‍ എന്ന സഹനദാസനുണ്ട്‌.

ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചന്റെ കുടുംബവീട്ടില്‍ അനിയന്‍ ഔസേപ്പച്ചനും ഭാര്യ മേരിക്കുട്ടിയുമാണിപ്പോള്‍ താമസം. ഇവരുടെ നാലുമക്കളില്‍ ഒരാള്‍ കന്യാസ്‌ത്രീയാണ്‌. ആരാധനമഠാംഗമായ സിസ്റ്റര്‍ ടെസി ഓണംകുളം ചങ്ങനാശേരി അസംപ്‌ഷന്‍ കോളജില്‍ സേവനം ചെയ്യുന്നു. ബെനഡിക്‌ട്‌ അച്ചന്റെ മൂത്ത സഹോദരന്‍ പരേതനായ ഫാ. സെബാസ്റ്റ്യന്‍ ഓണംകുളമാണ്‌. രണ്ടു സഹോദരിമാരും ആരാധനാമഠാംഗങ്ങളാണ്‌. സിസ്റ്റര്‍ ഗ്ലോറിയ (മാമ്മൂട്‌), സിസ്റ്റര്‍ അമല (വടവാതൂര്‍).

Dont stay late in office

Hi Anna,

I see you every night sitting in the office till very late. Don't you have friends? Don't you feel like talking to your roommate?
You should not sit very late in the office. This is a genuine advice from me.

Thanks,
Danny Mathew

after reading the mail, Anna was very angry on the sender. She simply deleted the mail and said to herself "who is he to give me any advice?". She again got back to her work.

After that night, every night Danny would keep sending her mails and Anna would simply delete them without even reading the content of the mail. But one fine night the subject line attracted her and she had to open the mail. The subject line of the mail was "Hi Gorgeous"

Hi Gorgeous,

Yes today you are looking very gorgeous in this red saree. I know you don't read my mails as you don't like the advices I give you.
So today I wont give you any advice, I will just say that I am love with you. You know you are very beautiful and if you take care of yourself many men will fall in   love with you.
I am sure someday you will also fall in love with me. And then we will go out for a date.
Oh before I end the mail I must tell you that the best thing about is that smile. Or is it those intense which needs some sleep at the moment.
Take care dear.
Love you.
Danny Mathew.

After reading the mail she was shocked. A person she had never met, never seen, never spoke to was saying that he was in love with her. She started thinking was this always in his mind. How did he get her id? Where had he seen her? Many questions like this came in her mind. Finally she thought of giving a warning and replied to his mail.

Hi Danny,

I don't want to spoil your career but if you don't stop sending me mails I will raise an ASHI against you.

Thanks and Regards,
Anna Jain

After this mail, the mails from Danny stopped coming in Anna's inbox. She thought that finally Danny has got scared and wont be mailing her again. After several nights, Anna was resting on her chair and her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes she saw Danny's mail in her mailbox.

Hi Gorgeous,

With your closed eyes you were dreaming about me, right? Oh sorry for not sending any mails in the last few days. I was a little busy. I am sure you would have missed me a lot. One more thing before I forget I want to say that I am not scared of ASHI. An ASHI cant be a reason to stop loving you.

Love you.
Danny Mathew


Anna was twisting her hair and putting them behind her ears. At that moment itself another mail came from Danny,

Anna
Now stop playing with your hair and leave the office. It is very late.
Love.
Danny Mathew

Anna was shocked as to how did this person know what she was doing on her desk. She got up to check whether anyone was there in her floor but could find only empty cubicles. She thought maybe he made a wild guess and decided to leave the office. before leaving she saw another mail from Danny.

Hi Anna,

Searching for me??? You have started falling in love with me. J
Love you.
Danny Mathew

Anna was shocked and scared to hell. She simply switched off her machine and ran outside the office. In the next few days she would not open any mails sent by Danny. One night a mail with subject line "Don't be scared of me" came to her mailbox. First she thought to ignore the mail then she thought lets see what has

Danny written this time.

Hi Anna,

Don't be scared of me. I can say that you are scared of me because of the way you ran out from the office the last time you read my mail.
I know few minutes back you had gone to have coffee. You are thinking how I know this because I can feel you around me.
Only once you also start feeling me you will know that I am near to you. Very near. Just sitting next to you.
I will wait for the night when you start having the same feelings for me. Will always love you.

Danny Mathew


Now Anna started thinking was Danny really in love with her? What he was saying was it true? But how could he know so much about her? How could he say what she was doing and what not? Anna thought lets give a try and see whether Danny is always in love with her or not. From that night she also started
replying to his mail.

Hi Anna,
Do you feel bad if I call you gorgeous?
Love you.
Danny Mathew

Anna's reply:

Yes Danny. I don't like this word.
You can address me as Anna, isn't it short and simple. and I love my name a lot.

Thanks and Regards,

Anna Jain



Danny's reply:
Point noted Anna. But when I am happy, excited I would call you with some special name at that time.
Tomorrow you have your certification so all the best for that.
Love you.
Danny mathew

Anna was again shocked as to how does he know about her certification. She had never told him. She replied

Danny,
Who is the person who is giving you details about me? I had not told you about my certification how do you know it?

Thanks and regards,

Anna Jain

Danny replied back to her

I know it because I in front of you. Cant you see me? Cant you feel me close to you?
I also know that after 3 days you have your appraisal. Now this you have not told anyone. Just your PM knows about it.
Do you think your PM will give me all these details?

Love you.
Danny mathew

Anna not sure of the answer. She knew her PM would not have told Danny all this but how did Danny know so much about her was a mystery for her.
Finally she thought she will talk to her PM, Rohan.

Next day, she went to her PM's desk. "Hi Rohan. I wanted to ask you something".

Rohan:- "Sure Anna. Are having any issues?"

Anna:- "No. actually I wanted to know about a person named Danny mathew."

Rohan was shocked on hearing that name. PM:- "How did you come across this name. has anyone told you about him?"

Anna:- "No one has said anything to me about him. Few days back he started sending me e-mails. First I ignored but then he would give such details which I did just few minutes back. He even knows my appraisal date."

Rohan:- "Are you sure you got mails from Danny mathew only?"

Anna:- "Yes very much. But why do you looked shock?"

Rohan:- "Because Danny mathew died 2 years back. He use to sit at the same place where you are sitting. How can a dead person send mails to you."

Anna was shocked. She didn't know how to react to this.

Rohan:- "If you don't believe me then you can try finding his name in the telephone directory. Maybe someone told you about him and because of work stress you started imagining that he is sending you mails."

Anna:- "I am not imagining anything. He has really send me a mail. I can show you in my mailbox."

Rohan:- "Okay Anna I believe you but still I think you should take a break and go home."

Anna was still in shock with the news she got from Rohan. She just did a search on telephone directory for a name with Danny mathew and page returned no records. She again checked the mail id and employee number details. She did a search many times that day by putting various combinations but the search page displayed the same message "No matches found for the given search criteria". She could not believe that someone could hack the system and send mails to her from an non-existing id. She attached the mails sent by Danny and sent it to Rohan as a proof that she was not dreaming. On seeing the attached mails even Rohan was in shock. He came to Anna's desk. Rohan:- "I think by mistake his id has not been deleted and someone who knows about it is playing with it."

Anna:- "But I checked the details on telephone directory there are no records available for this id."

Rohan:- "Talk to the CCD people and see what they have to say."

She called up the CCD people. They took control over her system and looked at the mail sent by Danny Mathew. The mail was sent from the from the same computer which Anna was using. The time stamp at which the mails were sent Anna had logged in. Also there was no evidence that a remote desktop connection was made or mail was sent through web mail. Even the CCD people were clueless as to how a mail has been sent from a non-existing id and from Anna's system itself.

There were no viruses or Trojans or any other kind of threats on Anna's system. Her anti-virus was up to date. The whole day was gone in finding a

loophole as to how did Anna get such a mail in her mailbox. Anna was tired from the day's happening and so she decided to leave early from the office that day.

The next day when Anna came back, she saw a mail from Danny Mathew. She didn't know whether she should delete that mail or read that mail. She was scared to open the mail. Somehow she gained some courage and opened the mail. The context of the mail was:-

Hi Anna,

Good to see that you left the office early tonight. I know Rohan told you about my death.
I was also a workaholic like you. I would sit late in the office, even when no one was around me.
I just being at office. I had no friends, no social life. Even on weekends I would use to come to office.
I missed all the fun in my life. Even my death happened at office while I was working.
My dead body was found by the house keeping guy and the security guard at the reception.
I took a lot of work stress which my conscious mind could not bear that day. I ignored all the health problems I was having.
And finally on that night (20. 10. 07, 11:24 PM) all these reasons became responsible for my death.

Now you know why I am not scared of ASHI.
But yes if I was alive then also I won’t be scared of ASHI because I have really fallen in love with you but we can’t be together until your death.

Now the choice is yours whether you will kill yourself on your own or whether I need to do the honors.
Waiting for your death. Love you always.

Danny Mathew

Corporate rules...

Rule-1
The Boss is always right.



Rule-2
If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
 

 
Rule-3
Those who work get more work.
Others get pay, perks, and promotions.



Rule-4
Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person,
The more hardworking a person,
 The more committed a person;
The more number of persons are engaged
in pulling that person down.


 
Rule-5
If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.



Rule-6
When the Bosses talk about improving productivity,
They are never talking about themselves.


 
Rule-7
It doesn't matter what you do,
It only matters what you say you've done
and what you are going to do.



Rule-8
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters
from a kick in the butt.



Rule-9
 Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.



Rule-10
The more crap you put up with,
The more crap you are going to get.



Rule-11
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.



Rule-12
When you don't know what to do,
Walk fast and look worried.



Rule-13
Following the rules will not get the job done.



Rule-14
If it weren't for the last minute,
Nothing would get done.



Rule-15
Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .



Rule-16
No matter how much you do,
You never do enough.



Rule-17
You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work
you are supposed to be doing.



Rule-18
In order to get a promotion,
You need not necessarily know your job.



Rule-19
In order to get a promotion,
You only need to pretend that you know your job.
 


Rule-20
The last person that quit or was fired will be
held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

weekend

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was
left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to
80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no
way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up
further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit
him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him,
took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a
long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel
like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I
haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop.
I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Beggar

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a
year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.

"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's
the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very
expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to
university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my
expense."

5 Reasons You Didn't Get the Job

                 With the employment rate still at 10.5 percent in the GCC, you may find yourself in the position of applying, interviewing, and still remaining jobless. You may have thought it was a sure thing; you may have left the office laughing and joking with the interviewer. So why was someone else hired and you weren't? These five reasons may shed some light on the situation.

1. You're overqualified

It's not just a cliche--you really can be overqualified for a position. It's especially true in a tight economy. A candidate that is more qualified would require a higher salary and benefits package for a competitive offer and for long-term retention. If someone else interviewed who fit the qualifications but didn't overly exceed them, it might be in the company's best interest to hire him and save the cash.

2. You don't know the right people

You may be great on paper, and you may interview really well--but if another candidate is the employer's MBA instructor's daughter, you might be out of luck. This isn't a reason you can't really avoid. Your best bet is to make sure you follow up with a genuinely appreciative phone call or note. Leaving a positive impression will keep you in that employer's mind if other opportunities arise.

3. You hit it off, just not professionally

Having a good rapport with your interviewer is great--however, if you bonded over your love of tequila shooters, you may have made a friend and not an employer. In a less extreme example, you may be very easy to interview but still not right for the position. While being friendly and personable are two very important traits, they won't guarantee you the job.

4. You came with conditions

You may be a good fit for the job, but if you come with strings attached, you may not get hired. If you can't see yourself sticking to the position long-term, or if prior commitments mean you'll have to work odd hours, it could take you out of the running. If possible, come in condition-free or at least willing to compromise. However, if you have a restriction that is non-negotiable, it's only fair to both of you to bring it up in the interview--there's no sense in wasting time if the situation won't work out.

5. An unpredictable reason

Often, the reason is one you may never know. You may get an unrelated job simply for having a shared interest with the interviewer, or perhaps because you have a skill the employer hopes to learn from you. It may be as simple as two or more candidates being equally qualified, and you lost the coin toss.

It may also be a simple reason like an off-the-cuff comment you probably shouldn't have made, or a more blatant reason like answering your cell phone during an interview (never a good move, no matter how friendly you are with the interviewer!). Be honest with yourself about the interview process--if you can think of a slip up, learn from your mistake and keep it in mind for your next interview.

The bottom line

Whatever the reason, do your best to learn from it and apply it to your next interview. Don't be afraid to politely follow up and inquire about why you weren't right for the position--just make sure you don't come off as sulking. Be professional, and thank them for helping you to understand what you did wrong, or where you can improve. After all, if you made it to the interview stage once, you're likely to do it again.

Fishing Mirror

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small

boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box

and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and

asked, "What is the mirror for?"


"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine

the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of

sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just

reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you

$30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By

the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.

The Power of Three Little Words

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled. The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that
another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring
frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out," Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness-everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Have a great day loving yourself and loving your loved ones!

Keep going...

Keep going...



One day the man decided to quit...
He quit his job, his relationship, his spirituality. .. I wanted to quit my life.
He went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", he said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised him...

"Look around", God said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", he replied.

When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

God said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.

"I would not quit." God said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
God said to man. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." Don't compare yourself to others .."

God said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful"
Your time will come, "God said to him." You will rise high! "How high should I rise?" he asked.
How high will the bamboo rise?" God asked in return.

"As high as it can?" he questioned.
"Yes." God said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
The man left the forest and brought this story.

A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity.
It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our choices and actions.
And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and,
in doing so, we create our own unique journey." Keep going...

Corporate Lesson: The Washer man, Dog and Donkey

Good story with old version…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog.

One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house,
the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake.

The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him
and wanted to teach him a lesson.

The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the
donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind
and the donkey started braying loudly.

Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started
beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"

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Now take a new look at the same story…

The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute.

He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the
box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray
in the night.

He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up
approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who
broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it.

Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the
duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his
favorite pet.

The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more
motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog
managed a " meets requirement" Soon the dog realized that the donkey is
taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing
around.

The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his
already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and
always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

If you have worked in a corporate environment, I am sure you have guessed
the characters of the new story.

jokes

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

**********
 
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

**********

Married life can be very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

**********

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

**********

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"

The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

**********

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

**********

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

**********

Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

**********

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married  and now he is going thru hell.

**********

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or the wife is

**********

A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife."

The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

**********
 
"What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife."
"What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days."
"But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

**********

Never Be Over Smart...

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at door,
 A lady opened it. Before she could speak,the salesman rushed into the living room & emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet: Ohhhhhhhhhh

 Salesman:
 Madam,if Im unable to clean this up with my new powerful vacuum cleaner in next 10 sec, i'll EAT all this Shiit

Lady:
 Do U need Chilli Sauce with that shit ?

Salesman:why?

Lady:
Because there's no electricity in the house


 MORAL:

Never Be Over Smart...

Facts we don't know..!!

1.Coca-Cola was originally green.

2 The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
 
3 The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4 . The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5 . There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath ..

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11 . It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12 . The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14 . Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.

15.
11 x 11=121
111 x111=12321
1111x1111=1234321
11111x11111= 123454321
111111x111111= 12345654321
1111111x1111111= 1234567654321
111111111x111111111 =123456787654321
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

23 . Butterflies taste with their feet.

24 Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

25 . In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26 . On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27 . Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31 . The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

34 . The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36 . Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

Clever Girls

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"

The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

angel

I am your little angel
and I'm sent from far away
To cheer you up if you are sad
or had a rotten day.

So when you find a home for me
make sure that it is near,
For when you to need to talk things out
I can lend an ear.

I'm here to make you smile
when you feel a little blue,
Just look into my eyes
and I'll smile right back at you.

Or when your feeling lonely,
and no one seems to care,
Remember angels do,
and we are everywhere.

If you are scared and don't feel safe,
and don't know what to do,
talk to me
and I will get you through.

Now find that special place for me
deep inside your heart,
And I will always be there for you
no matter how far apart.

Zoo Job

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

The Farmer's Law

One weekend a lawyer from cochin decided to go bird hunting in pala. The lawyer drove to pala and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.

The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."

"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in pala, we use the three kick rule."

"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.

And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck."

ലോകം 2013-ല്‍ അവസാനിക്കുമോ?

ചരിത്രബോധം ഉരുവായ കാലം തൊട്ടേ ലോകാവസാനത്തെ കുറിച്ചുള്ള ഭയം മനുഷ്യനെ അലട്ടിയിരുന്നു. ഹിന്ദു പുരാണങ്ങളിലും ബൈബിളിലും മറ്റ് മത ഗ്രന്ഥങ്ങളിലും ലോകാവസാനം എന്ന ആശയം കടന്നുവരുന്നത് കാണാം. ഈ ആശയത്തെ അടിസ്ഥാനമാക്കി പല ‘അപ്പോകാലിപ്റ്റിക്’ സിനിമകളും ഉണ്ടായിട്ടുണ്ട്. അതില്‍ ഏറ്റവും അവസാനത്തേത് റോളാണ്ട് എമിറിച്ച് സംവിധാനം ചെയ്ത ‘2012’ എന്ന സിനിമയാണ്.

മാനവ സംസ്കാരം ഇന്നുവരെ ഉണ്ടാക്കിയെടുത്തിട്ടുള്ള ശാസ്ത്ര സാങ്കേതികവിദ്യകള്‍ (മൊബൈലും ടിവിയും നെറ്റും ജി‌പി‌എസുമൊക്കെ) ഒന്നൊന്നായി തകര്‍ന്നടിഞ്ഞ് രൌദ്രപ്രകൃതിയോട് ആയുധങ്ങളൊന്നും ഇല്ലാതെ പോരിടേണ്ടിവരുന്ന നിസഹായനായ മനുഷ്യന്റെ ചിത്രം അപ്പോകാലിപ്റ്റിക് സിനിമകളില്‍ നമ്മള്‍ കണ്ടിട്ടുണ്ട്. ഇതില്‍ യാഥാര്‍ത്ഥ്യമൊന്നുമില്ല എന്ന് വിശ്വസിക്കുന്നവരേ, കാതോര്‍ക്കുക. 2013-ല്‍ ഏതാണ്ട് ഇങ്ങിനെയൊരു അവസ്ഥയിലൂടെ ഭൂമി കടന്നുപോകും!

സൂര്യനില്‍ നടക്കാന്‍ പോകുന്ന അതിശക്തമായ തീക്കാറ്റിനെ (സോളാര്‍ സ്റ്റോം) പറ്റി നാസ മുന്നറിയിപ്പ് നല്‍‌കിക്കഴിഞ്ഞു. തീക്കാറ്റിനാല്‍ സൂര്യനില്‍ വന്‍ പൊട്ടിത്തെറികള്‍ നടക്കുമെത്രെ. ഇതിനെ തുടര്‍ന്ന് വിനാശകരമായ റേഡിയേഷനും ഊര്‍ജ്ജകണങ്ങളും സൂര്യനില്‍ നിന്ന് ബഹിരാകാശത്തേക്ക് പ്രവഹിക്കും. സൂര്യനില്‍ നിന്ന് പ്രവഹിക്കുന്ന റേഡിയേഷനും ഊര്‍ജ്ജകണങ്ങള്‍ക്കും കാന്തികപ്രഭാവം ഉണ്ടാകും എന്നതിനാല്‍ മനുഷ്യന്‍ ബഹിരാകാശത്തേക്ക് വിട്ടിരിക്കുന്ന ഉപഗ്രഹങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് കാര്യമായ കേടുപാടുണ്ടാകും എന്നാണ് പ്രാഥമിക വിലയിരുത്തല്‍.

സൂര്യനിലെ തീക്കാറ്റ് കാരണം 1859-ലും ഭൂമിയില്‍ ഇത്തരമൊരു അവസ്ഥ സംജാതമായിരുന്നു. അന്ന് ടെലഗ്രാഫ് സംവിധാനം തകരാറിലാവുകയും പലയിടങ്ങളിലും വീടുകള്‍ക്ക് തീപിടിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു. 1859-ല്‍ ഉണ്ടായ അതേ തീവ്രതയില്‍ തന്നെയാണ് 2013-ലും സൂര്യനില്‍ തീക്കാറ്റ് വീശാന്‍ പോകുന്നത്. മെയ് മാസത്തിലാണ് ഇതുണ്ടാകുക.

ഭൂമിയില്‍ ഇതിന്റെ പ്രഭാവം ഊഹിക്കാന്‍ പറ്റാത്ത തരത്തിലായിരിക്കും. കാരണം, മനുഷ്യന്‍ ആശ്രയിക്കുന്ന അത്യന്താധുനിക സാങ്കേതിക സംവിധാനങ്ങളെല്ലാം സൂര്യനില്‍ നിന്നുള്ള കാന്തികപ്രഭാവത്താല്‍ താറുമാറാകും. വ്യോമഗതാഗതം, ജി‌പി‌എസ് നാവിഗേഷന്‍, ടെലികമ്യൂണിക്കേഷന്‍, ബാങ്കിംഗ് സംവിധാനം എന്നിവയൊക്കെയാണ് ബാധിക്കപ്പെടാന്‍ പോകുന്നത്.

തെക്കുകിഴക്കന്‍ അമേരിക്കയില്‍ 2005 ആഗസ്റ്റില്‍ ആഞ്ഞടിച്ച കത്രീന ചുഴലിക്കാറ്റ് ഉണ്ടാക്കിയതിനേക്കാള്‍ 20 മടങ്ങ് നാശനഷ്‌ടമാണ് സൂര്യനിലെ തീക്കാറ്റ് സൃഷ്ടിക്കാന്‍ പോകുന്നത്. കത്രീന വകവരുത്തിയത് 1,800 പേരെയാണ്. 81 ബില്യണ്‍ ഡോളറിന്റെ നാശനഷ്‌ടമാണ് ഉണ്ടായത്.

സൂര്യനില്‍ നിന്ന് ബഹിരാകാശത്തേക്ക് പ്രവഹിക്കാന്‍ പോകുന്ന കാന്തികോര്‍ജ്ജ കണങ്ങളില്‍ നിന്ന് ഉപഗ്രഹങ്ങളെ രക്ഷിക്കാനുള്ള തീവ്രശ്രമത്തിലാണ് ഓരോ രാജ്യങ്ങളിലെയും ശാസ്ത്രജ്ഞര്‍. ഉപഗ്രഹങ്ങളെ ‘സേഫ് മോഡി’ല്‍ ആക്കിയും ട്രാന്‍‌സ്‌ഫോര്‍മറില്‍ നിന്നുള്ള ബന്ധം വിച്ഛേദിച്ചും ദുരന്തത്തിന്റെ തീവ്രത കുറയ്ക്കാമെന്നാണ് ശാത്രജ്ഞന്മാര്‍ കരുതുന്നത്. എന്നാല്‍ വരാന്‍ പോകുന്ന ദുരന്തത്തിന്റെ തീവ്രതയെ പറ്റി ഇപ്പോള്‍ ഒന്നും പറയാനാകില്ലെന്ന് ചില ശാസ്ത്രജ്ഞര്‍ കരുതുന്നു.

ബഹിരാകാശ കാലാവസ്ഥയെ (സ്പേസ് വെതര്‍) നിരീക്ഷിക്കാന്‍ മാത്രം സൂക്ഷ്മമായ ഉപകരണങ്ങളൊന്നും എല്ലാ രാജ്യങ്ങളുടെ പക്കലുമില്ല. അന്തരീക്ഷ കാലാവസ്ഥയെ നാം ആശ്രയിക്കുന്നത് പോലെ ബഹിരാകാശ കാലാവസ്ഥയെയും നാം ദൈനദിന ജീവിതത്തില്‍ ആശ്രയിക്കുന്നുവെന്നാണ് സത്യം. അന്തരീക്ഷ കാലാവസ്ഥയെ നിരീക്ഷിക്കുകയും പഠിക്കുകയും ചെയ്യുന്ന ശ്രദ്ധയോടെ ബഹിരാകാശ കാലാവസ്ഥയെ പഠിക്കേണ്ട സമയം അതിക്രമിച്ചിരിക്കുന്നുവെന്ന് നാസയിലെ ശാസ്ത്രജ്ഞര്‍ പറയുന്നു.

What Happened in Detroit

A tough looking biker had been in the biker bar for quite some time when he finally decided it was time, once again to hit the road. He stepped through the front door of the bar and instantly realized that his bike had vanished from the spot he had parked it.

"All right" he said loudly, coming back into the busy biker bar "I'm going to have a shot of whisky and if my hog isn't back up front by the time I'm done, what happened in Detroit will happen here too!"

With that many of the bikers ran out of the bar and within moments one came back to tell the tough biker that his hog was now parked in front of the bar for him. When the tough guy started to leave the bartender asked him.

"Pardon me, stranger, but what happened in Detroit?"

The tough biker replied casually: "I had to walk back to my hotel!"

Too Many Fires

A new firefighter was being trained by an old fire chief.

"How would you react if a sudden fire flared up on the front of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out a fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"How would you react if another fire flared up in the back of the building?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose and start spraying it, chief." answered the new firefighter.

"And if another huge fire flared up in the basement, how would you react?" asked the fire chief.

"Break out another fire hose." answered the new firefighter.

"Now wait a minute, son," said the fire chief. "Where are all these fire hoses coming from?"

The new firefighter answered, "The same place where all of the fires are coming from, chief."

Cup Holder

Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it.

The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.